The boyfriend jumper curse!
Today is Valentine’s Day, a day where those with partners show their love and appreciation for each other, although it’s not all roses and chocolates. It’s also the day where a tiny little angel-man shoots an arrow into your heart, forcing you to fall in love with someone whom you might have otherwise passed up. If you’re a knitter, you probably know that you shouldn’t knit a jumper for your boyfriend unless you’re fine with the risk of spending Valentine’s Day alone watching Love Actually with a box of tissues at your side.
Here are some stories from the LoveKnitting Community about the perils of the boyfriend jumper curse. Names and identifying features have been changed to protect the cursed.
Marie: My husband Gerry and I were married for 3 years but together for 7; and we have a dog together, Bart, a lovely greyhound. I have always knitted Bart a jumper since we first got him because he was always shivering no matter the weather. My husband was always extremely jealous of this attention. So one year, reluctantly, after a lot of persuasion I decided to knit him a jumper. In fact, I knitted two matching jumpers for Gerry and Bart. I thought this would be very cute. Also, I was married to this man so I never gave the jumper curse too much thought. Little did I know, he had been cheating behind my back basically since I started knitting the jumper (perhaps 6 months, or 1 year, I cannot remember, I was working on quite a few other projects too) and this matching jumper apparently was the last straw that broke the camel’s back. He was furious that I knitted him and Bart a matching jumper. He said that I cared about the dog more than him and packed all his bags and left. This wasn’t even the worst part of the story. The following month, Bart just left home one day, never to be seen again. Now, not only will I never knit another jumper for a man I love, I will never knit any for my dogs either!
Louise: I have a boyfriend jumper curse story, but it didn’t affect our relationship. I knitted Andy a sweater a couple of years ago…it’s just that the climate in England isn’t cold enough so he doesn’t get the chance to wear it. Every time we go to Sweden he packs the jumper and hopes to wear it, and almost every time it’s too warm. So even though I got to keep my boyfriend, I won’t knit another really warm sweater for him unless he starts freezing.
Suzanne: I had been with my boyfriend for a year when I offered to knit him a jumper. He chose the pattern and wool, and I set to work! It was a tricky pattern repeat and took me quite a while to knit, but 4 months later and the jumper was finished and sewn up! He loved it and said it was super warm. Sadly just a couple of months later he suddenly ended our relationship – I didn’t take the jumper with me.
Lisa: About three years ago I was dating a guy named Bill. We had been seeing each other for about 2 years on and off, but this was our first Valentine’s Day together. I spend the entire month of January and half of February knitting a gorgeous navy blue jumper for him. It had the most incredible cable pattern, with a great big collar. I gave it to him before our Valentine’s dinner, and he loved it. He said he felt like Hemingway, and wouldn’t stop thanking me throughout the meal. A couple weeks went by and he started seeming distant… Eventually he stopped calling, and wouldn’t answer my texts, even though I could see that he read them. When we finally connected he told me that he “needed some space.” I later found out he met someone else. She probably wears that jumper when she’s cold…
Brianna: In preparation for Christmas one particularly skint year, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to afford a nice present for my (now ex-) boyfriend. Instead, I looked to my overflowing yarn stash and decided that I should make him a nice jumper. Super thoughtful right? So I got to work on a chunky jumper, similar to something that I knew he would like. I was working up until Christmas Eve tying in the ends, literally just finishing the jumper in time for Christmas morning.
I hand him the gift, all excited to see his reaction. I get nothing. Barely even a thank you. He doesn’t even try it on! Honestly, his mum was more excited by it than he was.
Later on Boxing Day, we went for a nice walk. He says that he doesn’t think he has enough warm clothes to wear out… I point to his gift and he begrudgingly wears his new jumper out on the walk.
A week later, when we have returned home, I ask him wear his jumper is. He doesn’t know. I clear through the entire flat trying to find it, but it’s gone. Did he leave it at his family home? Or did he outright dispose of it? To this day I still don’t know.
What I do know, is that was the day I knew it was over…
The sweater curse strikes again.
Do you have a jumper curse story? Let us know about them in the comments!
Last updated: February 20th, 2017.